8/31/10 – I Got the Cancer Hat Trick and A Professional Women’s Hockey League?
Believe me – I’ve got 8 NHL hockey related posts lined-up in the “drafts” file, but those will have to wait. I got confirmation that the golf ball size lump on my neck isn’t just an enlarged lymph node due to some bacterial infection. I don’t have an issue with my thyroid. My white blood cell count hasn’t gone down. Yes, that’s right I’ve got the textbook symptoms of Lymphoma, which basically means I have a blood cancer. Well, at least that explains all the strange “itching”. So in essence, I got the cancer hat trick. I got through cervical cancer in my 20′s, then recently had an amazingly uncomplicated removal of a tumor in my brain and now it seems, we can add Lymphoma to the list.
Right now, everything it could be besides Lymphoma has been ruled out and tests to confirm have been had, so now all I need to know is which kind I’ve got. I can’t say there isn’t a bit of a sense of supreme universal though of irony running through my head considering I have been a life-long, passionate NHL (National Hockey League) fan and there’s a strong possibility I’ve now got NHL (Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma). I mean I do often say that I want some NHL action to the Hockey Gods, but the universe may have taken my request the wrong way. I do feel that I should have been informed that the universe needed a minute degree of specificity. Be careful what you ask for, because acronyms can stand-for more than one thing. I suppose I cannot deny that I asked for it, so I got exactly what I asked for didn’t I?
I can’t stop working, because I need the health insurance and I need to eat and I need a roof to sleep under, so finding out what I’m up against is a slow process. Working with the insurance company and trying to get an appointment with specialists is quite the arduous task at this point. I’m very tired and I’m very low in the fight department. At this point, when I eventually get a clear medical picture and if it indicates that I’m looking at a long, hard, expensive fight, I already know I’ll go as “gently into that goodnight” as I possibly can. For anyone who has read about my life in this and my other blog, I’m sure you can have some understanding that I don’t want to be filled with more chemicals, poked with more needles, put more money into barely surviving, and spend my days in sterile medical environments just to simply remain alive as shell of a human. My life has been well spent. I have no inner desire to stave off death only to have no real life. I cannot be more certain that I will only fight if I know that fight will not leave me without my “spark”. Sometimes, one must know when to go. I’ll know when I know.
Until then, I am still hoping to move to a residence that isn’t right smack in the middle of the “Great Hockey Void” and I’m ready for the NHL (and I am referring to ice hockey to be clear) preseason, even if I can’t watch or listen to any games – I’ll still know they are being played. I have no way of knowing if I’ll ever see another hockey game again. I have no way of knowing anything, so in that knowing I know nothing, I can happily proceed with each day by doing what I always do and HOPE AND SEND EVERY SINGLE POSITIVE VIBE I CAN MUSTER THAT THE WASHINGTON CAPITALS WIN THE STANLEY CUP THIS SEASON!!!!! I mean, no one wants me to pull out the “I will suffer in misery when I should have let go a long time ago” card just because I just might actually be staying alive waiting for the CAPS to hoist the cup. They can do it and they know they can.
Anyway, I had planned on teaming-up with a few people to do a charity swim for cancer fundraising, but the universe has other plans for me. No worries though, it’s probably better no other human be subjected to the sight of me in a bathing suit anyway. I’m reserving my strength for my own personal “Screw You” to cancer if that’s what has to happen. There is no anger in my heart and no fear in my brain, even though I seem to have been beaten down to near death more often in 38 years than most. It only means that I got back up more often than most as well. I’m alive right now and I still have my beloved NHL (this can have two meanings if that’s the hand I was dealt) and people are still singing in the world. I will always be singing from my “virtual” crease, so all is as it should be in my world.
Speaking of things right in the world – could it be that the hockey-loving women of the world may get their very own shot at hoisting a cup of some kind? Could it be that the National Hockey League might just get the women on ice too? Believe me fellas, some of us women take our hockey very, very seriously. There are little girls out there who will lose teeth in pursuit of the dream to play professional hockey. If I were much younger – I’d knock my own teeth out just to prove it to you. Don’t ever doubt it! Don’t just talk about it – do it. You won’t believe what’ll happen next. I’m all about the crease and it’s no secret to reader’s of this blog that my mind is on the net. Women most likely have a higher chance of pulling of f some pretty kick-ass blue-paint acrobatics than, perhaps, some of the best NHL goalies to ever play the sport, for one very simple anatomical reason. Women do not have to worry about sensitive external parts between the legs. The upper body is covered in Kevlar and the full-on women will duct tape those things down if they have to, so mammary glands don’t cause the same inhibition of movement as do the packages men carry around with them all day. Any good kinesiologist will have to agree, a man’s movements and range of motion is always centered around the “junk”. The women may also have a pain tolerance advantage (giving birth isn’t just pain – it’s an agony that makes you want to stab yourself in the eye just to take your mind off of what’s going on down “there”) and the “birthing” hips might just be more pliable and able to withstand repetitive use to boot. I’m 100% goalie-centric, so I can’t compare genders when it comes to the skaters, but when it comes to defense between the pipes, I will be so bold as to state – If you don’t believe me then by all means, create a professional women’s hockey league for the women of the world and then prove me wrong. GO NHL GO!! Hockey IS for everyone and WOMEN CAN ROCK THE ICE HARD!
I’ll keep my stick on the ice for as long as I can, but if I don’t get back to this blog again – ALL MY LOVE TO THE LOVERS OF HOCKEY, MAY THE CAPS MEET THEIR DESTINY SOON, I’M NOT HUMBLE ENOUGH NOT TO BRAG IN HOCKEY HEAVEN THAT I GOT TO SIT IN THE OWNER’S BOX THANKS TO TED LEONSIS and KOLZIG WILL ALWAYS ROCK! oh and CANCER SUCKS! peace – mia email@example.com
GO CAPS GO!!!!