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If Today Were The Only

July 2, 2012

7/2/12 – Edited & Updated 7/3/12 (which is also “The Only”)

NHL off-season means music prevails. Thankfully, the one guitar I have is not beyond fixing. It was a concern for me until recently. Perhaps it was my focus or perhaps it was some sort of magical music mojo I picked-up from Adam Levine singing with his boys from Maroon 5 on my television. Either scenario could be how it happened, maybe even both together, but the end result is now my guitar is playable. I still have to find a way to file the nut grooves. The action is almost unruly enough for my little digits to endure, but not quite enough for me not to push through it. I have to build the thick finger tips back up anyway, so it could be it is was it is right now for a very good reason.

I’ve been keeping tabs on all things NHL as well. It is a natural part of my world to reduce the hockey related vigilance after the UFA (unrestricted free agent) deadline on July 1st and in its void flows all things music. Last year, the transition was extraordinarily difficult. I didn’t even realize it until just this week. If I could tell you why, I would. I believe I know exactly why, but for the sake of simply moving forward, I’ll leave a mystery for any of you so inclined to be reading what I have typed here. You know I love you for taking the time right? Just in case; you do now.

Here’s the part where I tell you that this particular defender of a virtual crease has gone into permanent “wall” mode. It was only a matter of time. Often in life, leaving doors open is a much larger problem than locating an open door. If you think about it, when it rains, the logical response for those in a structure with windows and doors is to run about closing the doors and windows, not opening them. It’s raining. I closed the windows and doors. Metaphorically, this is logical. The more rain allowed to enter, the higher the chances I will drown.

To the first time adventurous eyes coming across this blog, I’m sure the notion of “goalie weird” is quite at the forefront of the mind. To the bold and daring returning explorer of the multi-media menagerie that is my blogs and related links, you probably wouldn’t still be reading if you weren’t used to it by now.

Today’s post is only an explanation. It is almost over, in fact. In order to survive, I have to be alone. Not yet once has another human crossed my path who can remain strong in times when strength was exactly the only thing I actually needed. I’ve accepted my own strength as the only strength available. There is no fairy tale. There is no way to become less strong than one has become, hence a matching or greater strength becomes less and less likely.

It happens. So be it. I can’t rely because I’ve never personally met reliable. I have myself. I can rely on that. It’s the best I can do. Today is the only.

Sometimes, all the doors and windows have to be closed. My game face is on. You will run. Everyone runs. I’m scary. Yes, run. It’s just easier for you that way. Easy often brings you back to address the situation again, so to me, easy is the hard way with far more wasted time. Please understand that when I type “you”, I may not be addressing “you” the person who is currently reading this blog. I could be, but in this case, “you” is most people based on the extensive experience I’ve had with as I’ve gone through this life. I am generalizing. Normally, I frown upon generalization, but forgive the deviation from normal; I’m making a distinct point. It’s necessary.

I’ll do what needs to be done. As per the usual, I always do. The stronger one gets, the harder it is for other people to see there is always a need to be strong for even the strongest. Sad, but true.

All channels are closed. I don’t make people guess what makes me happy. It’s not changed since I was a child. Yet, it’s as though anything I’ve said was either never heard, completely ignored or other people operated under the assumption they simply were fully within their right to do the thinking for me and chose my happiness for me. Clearly, not a single one was right. I’ll do it myself. (The whole sex-thing isn’t anywhere near as much fun that way-not even close-but like I said-I’ll do what needs to be done-boo on that though-it sucks like a zebra on ice).

peace-mia- singingfromthecrease@gmail.com Twitter @creasesinger If you couldn’t see it coming, you weren’t paying attention. I love you no matter what – don’t ever doubt it.

Go Bolts. Don’t let your guitars get dusty. Goalies do it for all 60, so back away from the goalie hate. I have nothing to lose, so if I catch-up with you there goalie hater, you may get a whole different version of “goalie running”. What are you going to do about it?!

I love my hockey team – a lot. L’amour peut-être même pas un mot assez bon pour exprimer mes sentiments. Il va bien au-delà, à coup sûr. L’amour peut-être même pas un mot assez bon pour exprimer mes sentiments. Il va bien au-delà, à coup sûr. Aller Bolts.

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