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Here’s Looking At You 2012

December 10, 2012

December 10, 2012


For many of us out in the world, whichever “world” it may be at the present time, this particular year has been far more than “interesting”. Some took journeys so unexpected, it likely still hasn’t sunk in completely with all parts of their personal “whole”.


Some of us changed physical addresses (not something unusual for me, but very tiresome at this point), while some stayed at the same physical address, but on some level, still travelled far and wide. It has, and still is on a few levels I suppose, one very fast-paced exploration of many unknowns for plenty of us this year. The unexpected for a small group were actually “expected” in the sense that when one has no expectations, one can therefore “expect” that each day (in some cases hours) will be as it happens when it happens. As difficult as it may seem for some to understand the concept of “expect nothing but the unexpected,” because that is an actual “expectation”, it can be more simply worded for less confusion. If one thinks of it more like “be aware that unexpected things can happen,” it may a bit more clear.


Personally, for me, I had a “sense” this year would be difficult, but far less so than some previous years in my 40 years on Earth. In many ways that has been the case. In other ways, perhaps on a few levels, it’s been far more of a struggle than I could have imagined. Given the experiences of my life, I do accept the “unexpected” based on the sentiment expressed in the last paragraph. It’s also as truthful a statement I can make in the person that I wasn’t alone (not in the physical or otherwise), hence I personally couldn’t have imagined certain things in my own head that could affect me alone. We, yes all of us, are not really alone are we? With only a small amount of thought, we have only one true answer to that:  “No”. That answer, “No”, applies both in the physical and otherwise.


In human terms, we share living spaces, roadways, information, thoughts, ideas, clothes, love, music, art, etc. No matter how far removed from computers, even electricity, some people on Earth exist to this very day, there is sharing of resources in some way or another. I don’t personally know a human individual who sits physically alone all day, every day, in total solitude never having ever seen another human, but if an individual or perhaps more than one lives somewhere on Earth, it is true all the way through that he/she still shares life with trees and other animals. We are not truly alone just on that single level of thinking by itself.


Multi-level thinking is something that most humans do naturally these days, so it should also stand to reason that we are not alone on at least a couple of other levels as well. To keep things as simple as possible using the English language, I will address only single levels at time in this post to best of my current ability. Please do keep in mind that I always encourage other perspectives and points of view in the comment section or via e-mail for the purpose of open communication and clarity. Often times we as expressive beings, misunderstand something we read or interpret words we hear in ways that aren’t how they were formulated, written or spoken by those who wrote them or spoke them. This happens and it is of utmost importance for all of us to acknowledge this as a natural part of good communication and to always be aware of this when we interact physically and verbally with other human beings.


There are many, many, many different human languages. Within those languages are various different dialects and mannerisms that come from a wide assortment of places and become a part of how each and every human communicates. If we think about even just one “language” like “sign language”; there are several different versions (dialects if you will) of a language of the hands used to communicate with those who cannot hear spoken words very well if at all.


There are languages that have been in human existence that are no longer used by any of us as a means of communication. No matter where we are on Earth, we all know there are slight differences and English is a good example, especially when spoken. There are different words used in different geographical parts of the United   States alone for carbonated beverages like “Coke” or “Pepsi”. Some call these types of drinks “soda”, while some call it “pop.” Some people will say they are going to “pahk the cah in the yahd” (park the car in the yard), while others will say “change the earl in that there truck” (“earl” meaning “oil”).


There are some humans (perhaps other “non-humans” as well) “mathematicians” and/or “physicists” who staunchly believe that “numbers” are the “universal” language. I can only agree to a certain extent with that rather pervasive thought however, because sound, especially in the form of “music”, is more likely the “universal language” than anything else isn’t it. Many humans spend a lot of their lives pondering things like “string theory” at the exact same time other humans are simultaneously pondering things like “music theory”. Those two concepts are in no way independent of each other are they? No. There is a very strong correlation between the two ideas in that sound waves produced via a musical instrument, very much including a single human voice, and put in a specific order to produce a “string of sounds” that travel via waves to receptors that then “hear” a “song/composition.” Waves consist of what? Particles. That’s why those humans who have ear damage and are termed “deaf” can still “feel music”. They feel the particles that vibrate within the sound waves with the perceptive systems they have that do function quite well as receptors. Sound can very much be “felt” can’t it? It can be organized in a specific order of vibrating particles that travel in waves strung together on many levels to have a “multi-dimensional” and “cohesive” structure. Doesn’t that seem very similar to concepts in “theoretical physics” of “string theory”? For those who spend their time contemplating such things, it is true they are extremely similar on certain levels and would be very hard to argue otherwise on those specific levels. There is music in mathematics and mathematics in music.


My intention was not to be “deep” or “erudite” in this post, so I’ll finish this post in plain, simple terms. We humans, no matter how different we may seem on the outside or how many different forms of expressive communication we use are ALL on the same planet. Planet Earth is in a “solar system”. There are other planets aren’t there. It is far, far , far more likely that we are NOT alone in this “Universe” or “Galaxy” than it is that we are alone. Regardless, it is we humans who LIVE on Earth, so we (as in the majority it would seem) naturally focus and concentrate on what we know, see, feel, touch, taste and have the perceptive systems to, well, “perceive.” This really is a natural part of the “human condition” and by no means should be seen as something intentionally hurtful or a disregard for the actual origin of how all of everything was created.


All of this “came to be” somehow and there have been so many different theories put out into the information systems of “mankind” over “human history” in terms of how humans have generally thought of “time” that it truly has become far too difficult for almost any human to sort through all of that with their own perceptive systems and try to understand how to survive a human day, let alone have total faith and trust in one, single creator. Most humans have to worry about food, their families, how to get clean water, and a gigantic load of other worldly things, so if we as humans on this Earth have not given appropriate attention to a “God” or “Gods” or originators of all the things we often think of as the “heavens” or “sky”, we have circumstances as humans on Earth that have made it extremely hard to have that sort of thing on our minds. There are about 7 Billion humans and that is A LOT for one single planet. I’m sure something greater than the whole of what mankind understands has an awareness of that at this point. That one is definitely out of my hands and in no way will I make any sort of speculation about it in this format for any reason.


There is nothing left for me to say or do anymore other than listen to the radio, try to find a way to get some gas money and find food somehow.  On at least one or two levels, I’m still “working”, even if that particular “work” doesn’t translate to a physical paycheck (which it should and that is the stone, cold truth of the matter for sure). I have a basic roof over my head right now, but soon won’t have a vehicle. I don’t have conversation with many people these days either. It’s not that I am against that at all or avoiding conversation, it’s simply that many around me (yes, I’m still in Harford   County, MD) are very set in their ways and seem to get upset about the way other people in the world live their lives. Having conversation with the person who is providing me shelter seems one-sided, so the word “conversation” is more like me listening, rather than contributing. I’m still as much in love with ice hockey as I have been, but can certainly go without, as I have before, if that’s the way things are going right now. I don’t watch TV or have access to the internet other than maybe once a day and my cell phone is no longer an option for communication.


I still love music just as much as I always have as well. There are some things about me, personally, that just won’t change no matter what happens. Otherwise, I am grateful for the ability to adjust to situational circumstances, temporary or otherwise. I have a guitar still and my voice, so I can make my own music at the very least. I also know what good love is and yup, I’m still one of those “good women” and if there’s any doubt about that, all anyone ever had to do was come talk to me with some tolerance and understanding in the person, face to face. It’s always been just that simple. I still believe in the “I got your back” kind of love too. That also hasn’t changed.


Any person who communicates the following sentiments to me at this point will be completely ignored probably, so be aware: “I’ve never heard of that!” (most often that is accompanied by a look and/or statement indicating that since that particular person hasn’t heard of something it simply cannot be true. That translates to me as “I, one person, know everything so if “I” haven’t heard of something, it simply cannot be. I think that’s particularly arrogant and don’t mind expressing how I feel about that situation.) “You’re weird.” (I should probably just wear a t-shirt that reads “Yes, someone’s dictionary or book defines some people as weird; but not mine”). “Did you even try…” (Suggested course of action for any person that says that to me is – back away slowly. Don’t make any sudden movements. Go back to where you live. Examine your own life and be grateful you have what you have, instead of making the rather un-wise decision to assume others don’t try – ESPECIALLY the like of me. I express this openly as a kind reminder to others and for any particular person who might read this one day and actually care how I feel about it (also not impossible by-the-way).


Love is worth sharing with another and if these are the last words I ever type, I am very glad I had the chance to type them and share them. Also, I’d like to mention that I didn’t run and hide, so I can personally be at peace with that as well. I am Mia. Who are you?


If I could talk to President Obama face to face, I’d tell him that single, currently unmarried citizens in his country who do not have children are human beings who have life and if their families are deceased for whatever reason, you have ZERO right to deny them healthcare, social services or resources you focus on only families. I would tell Gov. O’Malley the same. If the United States government can’t handle that, then perhaps a government and/or private non-profit should be established RIGHT NOW – TODAY, and immediate outreach to get those resources to such individuals should be disseminated by whatever means necessary. You’re the one who “punted the football” Mr. President, so considering the assistance you got with said “football”, it is the very least you and other humans can do for each other.


When an opportunity to get it right all the way through presents itself, even a simple man can get the picture. We help each other – that’s how it works.


Love, it’s a beautiful thing, so what are you waiting for?


(Oh, and I actually do want to have sex again, yes, in the physical, before I go, so as you can imagine, I’m am so totally going to make sure that happens sometime very, very soon. I know what safe sex is even if I haven’t actually had sex since 2008 (yeah – you read that right) Hey, no hockey, no money AND I’ve been pummeled ruthlessly by things most of you wouldn’t even want to understand, so if I really am going out like that, I’m going to get some before I go, that’s for sure. I’m human ya know. Of course, there is the whole “I’m a bit “front-loaded” in the mid-section situation that very likely requires some attention from someone other than me, shall I say, because IT’S NECESSARY NOW! I’m very likely going to find a way to smoke some marijuana too. All the medical doctors can talk about the dangers of pot all they want, but I’ve read some JAMA articles too and know how to use a library as well. I also didn’t have a sleep disorder when I did smoke pot on a regular, very moderate daily basis either. And no, I won’t be paying back my school loans U.S. Department of Education – if college degrees don’t even help a person get a job a restaurant, the loan was a bad decision on your part wasn’t it. It’s not even worth the dead trees in the form of paper, administrative cost and human resources to keep sending me mail about it anymore. No, I do not believe I am above any law, rather the opposite. I’m one human and I think there are more important things for law enforcement types and large government organizations to focus on these days aren’t there. I am not alone on that one. No doubt.)


Thanks for the music – it’s always been there for me and it’s the reason I love the way I do. To those who protect life, in whatever ways you do, thank you. For anyone who understands this statement, I put here so you’d know: It’s not necessary to distract me if that’s what you’re doing. It may in fact, be working against you a little.



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