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No, I Don’t Think You Really DO Want To know

November 26, 2013

11/26/13 – Auto spell check doesn’t know what it’s doing, so sometimes, the mistakes in my posts come from some automated pile of BS that doesn’t know the different between “write” and “right”. Learn how to spell auto-correct will ya. Sh$#!!!! Screw it people – you know what I mean. If you don’t, consult with a friend or something. Oh yeah, modern technology – it’s all so very helpful. Yeah and I’m an alien working for the CIA on a top secret mission to find out the Colonel’s “secret recipe”. 

There have been some people who have communicated to me in one form another that I should write a book about my life. I’ve had someone tell me I should write children’s books. Someone else also suggested I write a book about resilience.

They all plausible and I’ve given a great deal of consideration to writing a book about my life. My life is still going on, so I do that as time permits. Right now, I will state rather bluntly that I am fully aware some of things I’d share about my life will burst some bubbles. There will be a lot of burst bubbles. My parents were who they were for the reasons they came to be that way. Some may have only seen the good a great parts of my family, while others only saw the not good and great parts of my family. I was adopted, but that means zero to me in long run. Family is family and that’s that.

It will take careful thought and preparation to show all sides of my family in as fair and balanced way as I can, so I’m not going to rush through that process of actually doing and getting it published. I had some friends when I was younger who nicknamed my mother, “Satan.” There were others, however, who, even as I type this would think that’s the most ridiculous statement ever. My parents did, in fact, use sleep deprivation as a method of punishment when I was in middle school and that is looked upon by the Geneva Convention itself these days as cruel and inhumane. I then had to go to school and mingle with everyone who, odds would likely show, weren’t forced to stay awake for days at a time.

It is that kind of information that some distant relatives, friends and co-workers of my parents will find very hard to take and I am aware of that. It is just in me as a person to understand that some would simply like to remember all the good things about someone when they have passed away. It is also important for those of us who’ve been through things in our lives, we’d not like to happen to anyone else, to share openly so that those who might be feeling as though they are alone or do not understand what can happen in families, communities, teams, work place and yes, even places of worship, know that there is always a way to heal and get beyond them.

I told a former co-worker a few years ago, after doing an office-wide seminar on resilience, that “it is not just surviving a difficult, it is surviving it well.

In writing a book about my life, I will do so patiently and do my very best to share the many good parts as well as the parts that others, depending on their perspectives and experience in life up to the point when they read the book may consider to be not so good parts. No one’s paying my bills or keeping me all comfortable in a comfy work space as yet either, so unless you plan on doing that, my rather interesting, compelling and I’m sure shockingly entertaining, hard hitting, yet gentle wonder filled life story will happen when it happens, or not. You can change that.

I will share my thoughts about something in particular that has a little to do with my personal perspective at this point in my life. Last year I wrote a certain blog post. Yes, indeed, I surely did. Oh, but I did. That blog post was all about me telling God I had no problem standing before him in judgement. It may or or may not be visible to you, depending on a few factors which involve an UNINVITED outsider who likes to get into people’s business without permission. No matter. Certain events happened after that post was written. When I use the word “children”, in general, I mean children of all people of the world. I mean children are children. It matters to me ZERO percent what they look like or where they were born. I happily tell all you nit-picking, judjey, mcjudgertons of the world that you now know, right out here in the open of the internet, that until you go through something like that, I’d like you to simply accept me for the human being I am and if you do approach me as such, I will gladly do the same in kind.

I can drive soberly and safely. I can support my hockey team and friends and family the best way I know how. I can do my best to be understanding and a good listener. I can make some people laugh now and again. I can be mindful at all times that I’m sharing the planet, not only with other humans, but with all kinds of other life. At this point in my life, however, I will tell anyone, and I do mean anyone, that unless you are paying my way through life, as long as I am a single woman in America with no ring on my finger – none of you have any right to tell me, an adult, who has been dealing with REAL LIFE, adult issues since she was a child. ESPECIALLY if you are doing from a location that is not in my physically present environment, in person. I, my friends, deal with REAL. If it isn’t real, in the flesh, genuine  – then it isn’t for real right NOW. I live in the now. Unlike many others, as some would have people believe, I am not in the slightest afraid of change. I’m very good at making command decisions. I will know what a good, happy home is like in this lifetime and I will be getting paid to do the things I do, because I am very good at them. I don’t need to be coddled. I’m a natural born goalie who has been raped and tortured in her lifetime, so it stands to reason, I’m not one to be hemming and hawing, waiting around for something that may or may not happen, just sitting around not living. It’s not my style. I’m all about quality and I’m not all that complicated. I share my life with real people who I can hug and kiss and tickle and give the old fist bump to and if that’s something that doesn’t interest you, then just keep walking pal. Keep walking. If it does interest you, it’s not like I’m hiding or anything. My email address hasn’t changed and neither has my phone number.

I just like people in general. We are all on the same planet aren’t we. I can’t stand-up and say, “Hey world, I made this planet.” Can you? I can however, just put out that I appreciate I have a place to live and everyday I open my eyes and am still breathing is a pretty good day right from the start. I may not be running about thumping other people with text from holy books, but I have faith and faith is just plain faith.

As long as I just continue to be me, the interesting, hockey loving, woman who CARES simply because that’s who I am, but who DOESN’T CARE if my face and my name is known simply because I want every-freakin’-body else see me doing it, well, heaven, hell, limbo, or just dead as a human and that’s it will be as it is at exactly the time it happens. If I am meant to be famous, I will be famous. If I am meant to write a book about my life, it will happen. I really only know a few things for sure, in all confidence. One, I will get a job with an NHL organization, because I’m meant to get a job with an NHL organization. I have the kind of qualities and true love of the sport of ice hockey to be a great asset in helping to grow the game and helping to get some of the bad wrap the NHL gets for being too “violent.” That I can do and I’ll earn a living doing just that. Two, I’m only interested in being in a committed relationship with a man who is also only interested in the same and plans to get married. I’m 41, and thought I’m  not out on the hunt to nab me a man just for the sake of nabbing me a man, I just know I’m not looking to get involved with anyone who is “playing the field” 0r might possibly, one day, perhaps, think about marriage as one of a few options looking to the future.

I also know I’m not the only person who likes the smell of fresh ice and there just has got to be at least a few other people out there somewhere who also know that some guitars smell differently than some other guitars. There’s just got to be!

I’ll be thanking the mysterious powers of love in the Universe,that some call God, for my frozen Swanson turkey dinner with all the fixings, yup, even cranberry sauce and for the hockey game that’ll be on NBC this Thursday. I’ll do that by eating the frozen turkey dinner while watching hockey and having a good time making comments to the TV, perhaps chirping a goalie here and there and knowing that I’ll be alone in physical, but I’ll be sharing a hockey game with an assortment of hockey lovers just like me. Some of the  American hockey fans will likely be eating our Thanksgiving dinners at the same time (I hope you have your own cranberry sauce though – I get all “goalie stingy” about the cranberry sauce, so eyes on your own plate my hockey loving friends – eyes on your plate ;-D ). I’ll be in some pretty good company I’m sure.

Peace – mia – Ice hockey goalies have bigger, well, you know…uh….um…yeah….uh…STICKS. There’s a musical guitarist who also sings out there in the world who I think might want to know that making someone prove to you that they love you is an indication that you’ve put an awful lot of conditions on something that’s meant to be unconditional. It’s just friendly, loving advice from someone who took A WHOPPER of hit that directly correlates to you … and you KNOW IT!

Oh and if my own government really feels the need for some some reason to tap my cell phone or get all up in my personal business, well, I don’t really have anything to hide from you and you can just ask. I mean I am a little weird, but it won’t bother me personally. At least that way you’ll be able to trace the source of the “auto-bot” calls I get and no one needs to spy on me for me to tell everyone, I wear neither boxers or briefs. He, he, he. I’m a girl silly. I wear bloomers and they’re very comely, I can assure you. Would you like to come find out for yourself?


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