Skip to content

My Groupie, Puck Bunny and Victim Skills Just Plain SUCK – Deal With It

October 18, 2016


For those who aren’t cowards who roam the internet, I know you know I’m not referring to you, but I’m mentioning it now so that there are absolutely no misunderstandings.

For those who are cowardly ground-cursed, scum-slithers whose ancestors got downed by God and hide behind fake “social” (the more operative term is “anti-social”) media “personas”, cowering in your flesh bags as though some faux-deity dubbed you “King” or “Queen of Cool” – have a good time quivering in your sad, unholy skin.

My name is Maria “Mia” Lueth. I have been known as “Jag” while defending a net. I have also been known as a nick-name a former boyfriend called me that is Rated R and implies that I know my way around a man and have some skills in that milieu. When I have something to say, I don’t hide behind a mask. I just put my face right there online (VLOGS happen) and say it. I also type it. If you had the intestinal fortitude to come on over to my apartment to say what you want to say, I would listen to you. You’d at the very least get kudos for “balls” or “boobs”. Until then, I will simply dispel a rumor that circulates every-so-often when folks get bored or whatever it is some of you out in the world get. I never had sex with Vanilla Ice. I have had sex with a certain musician who I was dating. He had to pay a company to keep my name out of the press. He cheated on me twice. I said good-bye and I never looked back. He has to beg people to work with him these days. Done deal.

Yes, I will date actors, but no those who have to stay in character all the time. Not for me. Simple enough.

I almost married an ice hockey player, but shortly before we were to be wed, he was killed in a car accident. It was an accident. The driver survived and of course I forgave him and sent him prayers for recovery and a few humorous cards to make him laugh a little. Laughter heals. That is truth.

I do remember when Baltimore had an ice hockey team. I managed to get in on helping out someone who worked in the evenings to make ends meet for his family. I helped him clean up after concerts, events and ice hockey games. I remember this one time, I got up the courage to talk to one of the “Big Guy” ice hockey players. I was a young 14-year old female whose dream job just happened to be a job working for a National Hockey League. I wanted to ask a few questions, because I love ice hockey. Interestingly, there weren’t many adults around and for some strange reason this ice hockey player who was at least 10 years my senior thought I was curious about his penis.

Here’s something that “person with a penis” (man is too generous a description), didn’t realize that my late Earthly father one Major Fritz H. Lueth, decorated Korean war vet, never let his little girl go places unprepared. Swiss Army knives, butterfly knives and small multi-tools come in handy for a variety of purposes. Fast forward to now, there’s a male who gets NHL money walking around with a scar on his upper-left thigh. I’m pretty sure I can handle myself around the “Old Boys Fraternity” known as the National Hockey League. Go on Twitterati – tweet this on over to @TBLightning and @NHL – it’ll be fun – you’ll like it. I dare ya.

By the way Baltimore, the Orioles used to an ice hockey team. True story.

I’ve been wanting to get married and take care of a man for quite a while now – years actually – so let’s accelerate the process shall we God. Thank you daddy. I love you.

Just so everyone is all happy and smiley, I’ll mention that the adult who put chemicals in a beer he gave me when I was 13 and then proceeded to rape a paralyzed teenage female, that’d be me – as mentioned a while back on my blog, was prayed for by me as well. I mean, no worries law enforcement types, I introduced him to Jesus via prayer. I wouldn’t any misunderstandings. Sometimes people misunderstand me. Like this one time I told this other guy I was dating that I wanted to go to an ice hockey game for my birthday and he thought I said I wanted to go a dinner theater. Well, pardon me, I thought English was his first language.

If you actually want to be my friend, you should know this – I like friends who will stand by your side and walk straight through the bowels of hell with ya and then tell people you were at the opera. I don’t fair weather anything. I don’t usually care who started it, but I always know whose going to finish it.

For the single males who I can legally take over state lines on this good planet, I’m aiming at marriage and I DON’T DO DIVORCE. All in, or nothing at all.

Somebody must have prayed for a wife God, otherwise why do I feel such a hankering for marrying and making babies? It’s overwhelming for some reason. Did you know you can order up a dude on Craigslist? WOWEE!

I love you – peace – The UnPC Pastor Mia – 410-980-1173,, 1622 E Rebecca Court, Forest Hill, MD 21050.

PS – If any of you lurkers who read my blog want me to get a SAG card, you will be needing to pay me. I might be just a little to hot for reality TV.

We thank you father God for looking after us, keeping us in your good light and providing for our needs. You Rock. It is in the name of Jesus we pray. Poor people like to eat food. Amen.




Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: