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Archives – May 2006

High School debate team members – APPLY HERE

Monday, May 15, 2006, 7:13:00 PM

…”Hey, were’s the cream filling?” It’s all quite chilling. The images burned. Hate got sperned…

I have a class starting on Wednesday, so I’ll be only lightly blogging for the next 2 1/2 months. This being the case, I decided I would spend the weekend and next couple of days routing around my blog capabilities here at Blog-City. I think I’m having trouble with the Google Sitemap thing and I saved 1/3 of my previous entry’s from here and another blog on a different blogger in a format I think I have to translate backward. I’ll be working on the latter this evening. I have some pictures to add as well. The more I get done in the next two days, the less I have to worry about later.

As for my beloved hockey – so far I’m holding on by a thread to the hopes that the Oilers take advantage of home ice and put the sharks back in their tank for the rest of the season. I have a hockey buddy at work who is about 20 years older than I. He remembers a lot about hockey and I learn things from him all the time. He says that he does not choose a team during the playoffs for which to route. Instead, he says he is just a passionate, impartial hockey fan. I have a great deal of respect for that. I, however, do chose teams to route for during the playoffs. I suppose that makes me a passionate, partial hockey fan. I learn more if I concentrate on one team at a time and the playoffs is the best time to do that. During the regular season, as I like to stress, I am a CAPS fan. If Washington can’t play into the playoffs, the hockey fan in me just keeps on going.

I’ve been writing some new material which means I better get on the recording equipment requisitioning. I think it was hockey that put me in the writing mood. I think I usually start writing toward the end of the regular hockey season. I was thrown off kilter last year because of the lock-out, so my timing seems a bit off this year. No matter – what’s done is done.

One last thing about hockey, I had a strong feeling after the first Devils – Canes game that NJ wasn’t making it to the second round. I held out hope until about 1:29 seconds left in the game. I remember that time based on the removal of Brodeaur and the extra man hitting the ice. I didn’t agree with that decision and thought to myself, ” If I was the NJ Devils coach, I wouldn’t have done that.” Seems to me Marty ended in the net anyway, so I probably would have been right. I’m not sure it was all up to the coach though. Anyway, If I had some sort of control, I would not have done that. Didn’t anyone notice how much faster the Canes can skate. Considering how tough they were up to that point, I just can’t see pulling your goalie to attempt a miracle that odds would state was nearly not possible when the chances of a faster team getting a breakaway on an empty net were fairly reasonable. To me, I think there would have been more dignity if they played five on five until the final buzzer. That kind of thing would matter to me.

So, I’m off to find photos, move archives and whatever else the evening might deliver.

More Music Sausages Mom. (don’t worry – I’ll share)

A Fuming Soap Box Rampage

Friday, May 12, 2006, 9:30:00 PM

…I watched with hope, but in the end is was “nope.” 20 seconds left and the puck went in. I thought it was locked, the Devils would win. Then the coach spoke, the goalie went off, the extra man went in and with three seconds left, the silence broke – past Marty the puck did go, so me with mouth open, dropped the hopin’ and got drunk off my broken ass. (don’t ya know)…

I have come to the obvious conclusion that it will take me a few seasons to get the feel of the NHL with the new rules. Previous to the lock out, I had a good grip on teams. Their strenghts and their weaknesses. I could usually make a fairly good prediction about the winners of each play off round. This year, I’m going with  – If I think they’ll win, most likely, it’s a good bet I’m totally wrong. With eight teams left, I’ve chosen the four who are basically getting wiped out quickly and systematically. In my defense, I will say that I didn’t pay for NHL Center Ice or whatever that digital thing is called where I can see almost every game of the season, so I really only watched CAPS games. I was a little bitter about the lock out and I knew I’d have to “warm up” to it all this season. I’ve managed to do that, but now I feel clueless and stupid. Oh well, I’m sure next season will be different. Until then, pay no attention to what I type about hockey – I don’t know what the hell I’m typing about! (okay – I still know my goalies though).

The Hershey Bears (CAPS AHL affiliate) have been doing very well. I paid a lot of attention to the AHL last season, mostly because I had no choice, but I was glad it was there and I hope that the success of the bears will reflect an improvement in the CAPS next NHL season. I’ll suppose we shall all see.

I titled this blog as I did, because I have received e-mails and lectures from some people I know about the way I live my life. Before I get into that, I want to thank those who’ve been reading and encourage interaction via comments or e-mail (I’m at Even if you don’t have nice things to convey, which some, it seems, don’t – I read them all. Every last one of them. Now, back on topic – to the three females who e-mailed stating that I deserved to break my tailbone (I’m paraphrasing for brevity), I will reply to you three this way – okay, you’re right. All three of the arguments sent to me were weak, trite and in one case, downright stupid, but it is true that I put myself on the ice and people get injured when they play hockey (and a lot of other sports as well). In that sense only, I must concede by pure logic that I chose to play hockey and therefore, I chose to accept possible injury. If chosing to play that game I love means that I deserve to get hurt, then so be it.

Paul R. from Montana wants to know when girls started playing hockey. I was not there when the first female hit the ice, but I’m sure it was even before I was born in 1972. I would like to suggest to you, Paul, that the next time the Winter Olympics come around, pay a little more attention to the events. Also, visit the AWHL website. SURPRISE!! Pay no mind to my sarcasm Paul. I appreciated the kind wishes that my ass gets better soon and I think if you visit NHL.COM, you’ll find a link to the rules that will answer your specific questions much, much better than I.  

“Some guy” wants to know if I wear a Jill. First, I think “Jill” is a stupid name for it, but yes, I do. Mine is a little modified for comfort and movement, but I do, because once I got nailed in the “Suzie” (another stupid name) with a direct puck shot. I may not have testicles and a penis, but getting hit with a puck anywhere without protection at the speed a slap shot gets fired at ya hurts like a bitch. “Some guy” – you’re not the first person to think a girl who plays hockey is sexy. I myself get all suited up with my mostly borrowed equipment, look at myself in the mirror and think “god damn – I’m smokin’ hot – I should go to the bar like this.” After I pull that mask off, you just can’t imagine how many men I have to fight off. They all want to run their fingers through my sweat-soaked, knappy ass hair. Once again, pay no mind to my sarcasm, I appreciate your thoughts and I hope you do well learning to skate. Wear a helmet, at least. Trust me, you’ll thank me.

As for Sandra P., a fellow Maryland resident, you should pay attention to my sarcasm and I hope I make myself completely clear to you. As a matter of fact, most of the rest of this blog entry is meant just for you. I have to believe that you were paying me a compliment and I will also assume that you did not mean to offend me. However, your e-mail got me so hot under the collar, I had to cool-off for an entire week before I even dared reply to your comments. I am not a women’s libber. I DO NOT hate men. I love men. I am empowered and I do earn my own living without a man to take care of my financial needs. I believe in human rights, not just women’s rights. You are right that I do not need a man. I want a man. As a human, I have fought for my right to play soccer with men, because I needed to be challenged. As a human, I have fought for my right to play pick-up hockey with men, because I love the game and I do not have easy or immediate access to a bunch of hockey-playing women, although, I’ll play hockey any time, with anyone, at any time.

Actually, I do need a man every so often. I ask men to help me carry things. But I also ask women to help me carry things as well. If I want to have sex, I need a man for that. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I can masterbate, but that just ain’t the same (if ya know what I mean – mmmm yummy). No Sandra, I am not a lesbian. No Sandra, I don’t think men are stupid and useless. I will admit that some men, sometimes can frustrate me to no end, but so do some women, some times. As a matter of fact, it is women like you that make it MORE difficult for women like me to succeed. You’re just plain millitant. If women want equality, they should simply exist on the premise that they are equal and quit whining about it. I can’t pee standing up and men can’t have children. We are different in some physical senses, but the rest is merely conditioning.

I would greatly appreciate if you would remove the thought that you and I are on the same page. We are on the same team in the sense that we are both human, but that’s about the extent of it. Frankly, if I had some sort of choice in the matter, I would not pick you for my team. I do what I love and I work hard to achieve my goals, If a man tries to stand in my way, I deal with it. If a woman tries to stand in my way, I deal with it. Men are not my enemy. If a man attempts to physically assault me in some hurtful way, I will not back down simply under the premis that people have been raised to believe that I am “the weaker” sex. I have and will hurt a man if he tries to hurt me. I will also hurt a woman who attempts to physically assault me in some sort of hurtful way. The only thing that makes a difference to me in a situation like that is the size and strength of the person physically assaulting me. That’s the only factor I consider. I can hurt a man differently than I can hurt a woman, but in the end, the simple fact is, I may be “weaker,” but I probably think much faster and react much faster.

Sandra, not all men are jerks. Sandra, some women are jerks. If a man has hurt you emotionally and/or physically, you have no right to transfer those behaviors to other men. You’re pissed off by men and I am not. You feel like men rule the world. I do not. Suck it up and be yourself Sandra.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it! Sandra, you pushed the “Fuming Soap Box Rampage” button – congratulations, you invoked the hard, yet broken ass in me. I hope it was worth it.

Fellas, I love ya and I couldn’t fathom life without you.

Hey “bigbadbonger” – while your grammar is atrocious, I agree that my like seems unbelievable based on what you have read over the years. It is amazing you’ve been able to find my blogs over the years, considering I never point anyone to the next incarnation of my blog as it has evolved. I will be happy to put a few of my original songs on this blog site for you to hear. It might take me a bit of time, but I’d be happy to when I get time. I can certainly see the “unbelievable” nature of my life from an outsider’s point of view, but alas “bigbadbonger,” it is in fact the reality of my life that you get here. You can bet there are some days I wish it really were a movie, so I could simply say “cut.” As far as I know, I don’t have the power to do that, so I improvise and adjust as situations arise, no matter how incredulous. I do have witnesses to many events mentioned in my current and previous blogs. You most likely won’t get a chance to gather them all and make a grand inquisition, but they are out there. One should never be surprised by what life can bring and one should never be afraid of it either (at least that’s how I operate).

A mighty musical weekend to you all and way to go Oilers (finally, signs of life from a team I’d like to see advance to the finals).

Broke Ass Mia

Monday, May 01, 2006, 8:16:00 PM

I’m watching the Oilers play the Redwings. Right now, I feel as though I’m the one who has played all the playoff games thus far. I don’t sleep much during playoff season, plus, I managed to break my tailbone during a pick-up game this weekend. The fellas got a little rambunctious because of the playoffs and an unfortunate set of circumstances lead to me getting driven head first into the boards, then somehow, I ended up getting twisted around and smashing my tailbone right into the ridge where the boards meet the glass. I react to pain in different ways. Most often, I tolerate pain extraordinarily well, so when I go down and don’t back up it means something just broke or I’m out. All I can clearly remember is sliding down the boards onto the ice and sitting with my legs spread open and being totally pissed off because my ass hurt like there was no tomorrow. In this instance, my reaction was to start swinging my stick at anything that moved. I know I got a few good shots in before my stick broke. Can you say “Goalie Interference”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The guys swarmed with great concern and were telling me not to move. They thought I had injured my neck, becuase my head was bleeding and they knew I was basically piledriven into the boards head first. From my perspective, I knew my hard noggin was fine. I kept yelling – “I broke my ass – don’t fucking touch me.” Eventually I rolled onto my stomach and dragged myself up. Obviously, the game was over. Steve and Dani started stuffing ice into my pants and up I went gingerly into their arms. Of course, the rest of the guys being guys as they are, started stuffing ice in my pants for a free feel (maybe not, but I got felt up here and there and truthfully I didn’t care one bit) then as I was being carried out to Steve’s Explorer, five guys ran around loudly proclaiming “Out of the way, we broke Mia,” and “Heads up – swollen ass coming through.”

Three of my hockey buddies hung out with me while I was at the hospital. I appreciated the company and felt well taken care of, even though they messed with me while I was on some sort of Morphine-like pain killer. I can’t hold that against them. I mean, I would most likely do the same to any of them if given the opportunity. Dani and Howie even took turns coming to my apartment over the weekend to help me out and make sure I had everything I needed. I rarely, if ever, get that kind of treatment, so I felt very little stress and it was nice not to worry about taking out the trash or going to the grocery with a broken tailbone. I think Dani did it out of guilt. It was his wild skate that lead to the trip that lead to Jay “The Slammer” ramming me into the boards. I missed all that, but I got several versions of the play-by-play after the fact. Still, it was good to not have to go through all that alone.

There are three things a person with a broken tailbone dreads: 1)Stairs, 2)The toilet and 3)speedbumps(I have no other choice but to drive – no one is going to do it for me and I work for a living). Oh yeah, actually there’s a fourth – MOVEMENT of any kind!

Well, these things happen and now I have a superb excuse to sit for hours in front of my TV without moving watching hockey games into the wee hours of the morning.

I realize that I spelled Turco’s name incorrectly in a previous blog. My apologies. I have a hockey buddy whose last name is Turkov so it’s my guess I melded the two together without noticing. I feel that spelling names correctly is important and appropriate.

The advertisements for Secret deoderant used to tout “Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.” Bullshit! Erroneous! Full on crapola right there folks! I suppose it’s strong enough for a man who has no sweat glands or made for a woman who never walks anywhere, but that stuff on a stick fails on me within the first half hour and that’s just when I’m walking. I thought I’d give it a try because of the price. Those lying bastards really should be called to court for such a false statement. I’m very unhappy with their product. Ladies, it’s only made for you if you barely move, otherwise, it’s my experienced opinion that this product is not for you. Maybe I have screwy chemistry or maybe Secret is made from weak ingredients and fancy fragrances that do nothing but put a layer of goop on women’s pits.

Speaking of poor products, I bought a brand new KIA Rio in 2000. That was a major mistake. Worst car ever made – if you ask me and the other poor fools who purchased one. Eventually, I got money back from a class action suit (buyers V. KIA) and even got money back from the dealer who sold it to me. The alternator went out at 40,000 miles. I had my breaks replaced twice before 20,000 miles. Parts and pieces started falling off the day after I bought the pile of scrap metal on shitty wheels. Light bulbs burned out so fast, I had to keep two spares on hand at all times. The clock ran more and more slowly every week. The steering wheel would sometimes lock while I was driving. The best part is that KIA and associated dealers had every excuse and evasive tactic prepared and ready to spew out at a moment notice. I spent four years in battle with KIA Motors. I won(because I got a lot of my money back) and lost(because I had to drive the car for four years), but I no longer have to threaten lives with that car any more. My point is – KIA sucks. Don’t buy one. Everyone who owns a KIA and wants to try to use that fantastic 10 year warranty finds out the hard way that KIA can’t back it up and the vehicle is most likely a menace to society. I’ve never been so relieved to be rid of a material object in the 34 years I’ve been around.

The oilers are behind and I’m getting the Hydrocodone yawns, so I’ll be off now.

Good night and Good Music.

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