Well gentlemen, you wouldn't be around to have your "fraterns" (latin) if you weren't born of a "womern" (straight out of the holler) now would ya. "fraternal" (latin).
And why would any single one of you have an issue with me if I'm all about love, peace and universal harmony - you wouldn't and you don't - so let's just leave me out of the whole "I'm famous and you're not" situation. Take that elsewhere and that is NOT a suggestion.
Thank you for your cooperation and respectful understanding.
What!? You thought I was someone else? Yup – I have supplied my home address 1622E Rebecca Court, Forest Hill, MD, 21050. Yes – I’m allowed to have a job.
Oh, come on now “old boys club” of the NHL – I’m not that bad. You know you like me. I can pastor part-time. If you don’t believe me, ask JESUS.
The National Hockey League males aren’t the same women-disrespecting heathens they used to be. Besides – the “church” is much more bigoted and rude than you oh lovely, gap-toothed, oft scarred-face men of the National Hockey League.
Ah, sometimes one must take a break from virtual goal-tending and find the liars who said it was okay to tell young ladies that they can do anything when they grow up. Well, yes, I did play hockey for real.
NOTE TO ALL OF YOU WHO BARELY CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE ANYMORE – I SENT WORD TO JESUS THAT YOU NEED BE PUT OUT OF YOUR MISERY FOR YOU. Amen.
I wanted the one to four people who actually care that I am a living breathing human female who DOESN’T LIKE BEING USED AS A SPIRITUAL SHEILD BY SILLY STUBBORN MALES WHO REFUSE TO ADMIT YOU NEED HELP.
Well, I haven’t checked my e-mail or cell phone for ah, let’s see, e-mail, I’d say about 1 full year and cell phone, well, uh, about a month or so – IF YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT – PAY FOR IT. Thank you,
My hockey team keeps dying of things like cancer (THAT STUPID BLANKITY BLANK BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPING WORD HAD BETTER STAY THE BEEEP, BEEEEEP %$^%#$# OUT OF MY MOTHER BLANKING CREASE JESUS OR THIS ENTIRE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO FIND OUT HOW MUCH I WANT TO RIP THE FAMILY JEWELS OFF THE CRAP-NASTY CREATOR OF THAT SCUM SUCKING ENERGY DRAINING BLANK – the rest has been edited for ungodly content.
AND SCRE YA IF YOU DON’T GET THAT I’M A HOCKEY FAN.
HUSBAND- NOW JESUS.
Apparently people who claim to care about me just couldn’t get through their interesting noodles that what I need is new family. MINE DIED – YES, ALL BUT A FEW AWOL COUSINS I don’t know very well.
Sure, while I’m praying for the entire planet and getting dinged for every single mistake every ice hockey team has ever made since the dawn of ice hockey, I’ll BE GLAD TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER – READ MY BIO -TRUST ME – YOU ARE HAVING A GOOD LIFE.
I find being direct is best when dealing with people these days.
Go eat the fruit of your own poison demons – you’re daddy reached his maximum limit.
I AM WHERE DEMONS GO TO DIE.
Oh, my oh my you naughty men of planet Earth, the only male who can score on my five-hole, is the one who has got the BALLS to marry me. Simple enough isn’t it.
I’m only scary on game days. The rest of the time, I sleep.
Yeah, who doesn’t like sex – apparently Jesus. Now, I shall return to continually kissing the ass of the King of Kings, because people didn’t think I was serious about owning and NHL franchise one day.
So , what’s up with you guys?
Sorry I rearranged Lucifer’s face God, he didn’t understand how much your glory meant to me. Exile me to Canada – I’ll understand.
Pardon me for morning my dead sh&$bags – won’t happen again. I never said I was finished having babies planet Earth.
Peace – mia (it’s true, my legal name is maria)
Check out Galatians when you’re in your hotel rooms when you’re on the road boys – you’ll find it quite enlightening. No excuses, there is a Gideon’s in every room.
Well, for the eight or so of you who actually read my blog – hello. No, I don’t really check my e-mail anymore. Why? Death threats – that’s why. Two of them to be precise. Yes, I realize you don’t care world. You have made that abundantly clear by your lack of any concern for a fellow human being in a grand variety of ways. If the fact that I was born is such a huge freakin’ problem for who ever you are, here you go: my address is 1622 E Rebecca Court, Forest Hill, MD, 21050. That is also pretty much my only contact information for anyone else who claims you are a friend of Mia Lueth. Yup, that’s me. That hasn’t changed. I mean come and kill me if it’ll make you feel better, or something like that.
Yes, it was a drunk coward Washington Crapitals fan who killed my children, himself and someone’s grandma a while back. I didn’t hold it against the Crapitals mind you, but apparently my feelings and thoughts about cowards, belly-crawling filth mongers and general computer hacking slime buckets don’t mean much in today’s world. Unfortunately for those of you who sit in what you thought was the safety of your own home or wherever else the “keyboard” cowards like to “play”, I amassed quite a large pile of hate aimed directly at me for absolutely no reason at all and it is all admissible in a court of law. You would be surprised how easy it is to trace an IP address these days.
That’s fine, you’re not afraid and running away from life as though that were actually possible is some sort of crazy thing the kids do these days. I feel like suing everyone, for everything, all the time, until I feel better.
Yes, I will also take prayer requests sent to the above mentioned address and yes, as AN ORDAINED PASTOR, I will take the time to respond you personally. I tell you know lies. It’s unprofessional.
No Canada, I wasn’t kidding when I asked God to transfer me to your country on the grounds that I have been over-persecuted in my own country because I’m a hockey fan, and/or the fact that I’m a female, the fact that I used to work along-side law enforcement officers and I’m generally viewed as some sort of funny joke (which is not even close the truth), but what the heck everyone’s allowed their opinion in the U.S.
Oh and witches – Jesus is your only answer. I don’t do the false prophet thing, so please feel free to open a bible, begin at Genesis and check it out for yourselves. No curses can stand against me and as I understand it, the “second death” is in play. I will water baptize anyone who comes to me, however, I will only do so in living water the way John baptized Jesus.
Yes, Ellen Lueth, the only mother I have ever known is deceased. Yes, Fritz Lueth, the only father I have ever known is deceased. Yes, I’m single. No, I can’t call my “mom” and whine and cry. I don’t talk to the dead.
Someone please refer “Sean” from the Arizona Coyotes to this blog (consider a tithe – thank you). No, I got attacked a few too many times on Twitter and I’m not addicted to technology like many of the rest of you impatient, immature types (plenty of ya out there). I DON’T WORK FOR FREE. I’M NOT A PROSTITUTE. I’M NOT YOUR MOTHER. I’M NOT YOU’RE EX-GIRLFRIEND.
I will hold out hope like a stupid, foolish dummy that God will perform a miracle and find an actual real, live man with a steady income, a home, a car and who rarely ever finds poop humor funny so I can get married and start a family again. I won’t hold my breathe, but he is God after all.
I also government contract, because Jesus likes me and the Devil is liar, so some times he let’s me earn money and have at least a shot as health insurance.
Yes, Department of Education, I paid off my school loans.
Baltimore Sun – threatening bankruptcy protected people is against the law. I’ll be needing more lawyers. Thank you.
Satan – Second Death
Legion – confirmed dead
Mephistowhateverthecrapyouwere – confirmed dead
No, I’m not an angel – I’m a child of God and I don’t really like evil very much, so I do something about it.
Wiccan people – protect yourselves – it’s called the bible – don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Psychics – you’re screwed.
Have a wonderful life Tampa Bay Lightning fans (hockey in June was really a bit strange to be honest with ya)
Go God (he has eyes and ears everywhere)
Jesus is alive and well and ALL prophecy babies get born, that has and will never change.
May the good love of God bless you and keep you.
Hey Paul – NOW!
I’m ready enough to let the world know exactly WHY I HAVE TO ASK THE ONE WHO CREATED PLANET EARTH TO HELP RESTORE MY FAITH IN HUMANITY AND SOME OF WHO READ THIS ARE PART OF THE REASON SO I’LL BE TRANSPARENT ABOUT THE CONVERSATION I’VE BEEN HAVING WITH GOD OVER THE LAST FOUR YEARS – MY FREAKIN’ PLEASURE! Yes, I don’t care if some of you think that typing in all capital letters is “internet yelling”. You see, I’ve been “web journaling ” all out on the World Wide Wed since about the year 2000. I’m fifteen years in and I use all-caps to EMPHASIZE certain information so as to let you, the reader, know that those words are KEY WORDS.
I’d like all of the JOSH GROBAN fans in the world to CEASE AND DESIST any all activity in efforts to bully me, contact me via e-mail, via cell phone, in person, or via any living human who chooses, as GOD as your witness and MINE, to pretend you are NOT a Josh Groban fan. No I’m not a lawyer, but I don’t need to be, because there are MILLIONS of them who do that sort of thing and sometimes they like to go on the attack. So, any of you who read this who are JOSH GROBAN fans, please forward this the people who run the Josh Groban fan club.
I very much appreciated the fact the a few years ago Sweeney Groban sent me some cards in the mail with a little help for a weary traveler, so to speak. However, the gratitude for that from me is a bit less than the true and real form of that word. Why? Because I thought it would be nice to mention how nice Mr. Groban’s doggie was out loud in public. Well, lesson learned universe. Understood. Some of your fans Groban thought my personal and private life as a regular old United States citizen was there business. Some of them got into their heads that I personally knew and paled around with Groban all living the high life or something. Some of them were so bold as to try to locate my personal medical records, thereby violating A WIDE ASSORTMENT OF MY RIGHTS AS A PRIVATE CITIZEN, INCLUDING MY HIPPA RIGHTS.
Now, I’m not going to be the one who foots the bill for all the extra INTERNET SECURITY SPECIALISTS, LAWYERS, ETC. to protect myself, yadda, yadda, yadda, send each and every one of the ones who were TOLD in writing, via internet, or via telephone not to contact only to find they had no problem creating new e-mail accounts to further harass me. No, instead what I’m going to do is find out how well some of the things that have happened to me in my 42 years of life on Earth as a member of the Lueth family hold up when seen through the eyes of the SUPREME COURT. Yes, Josh Groban, even you I prefer not to personally have face-to-face interaction with, so I’m not sure how your record company feels about me right now -BUT I CAN ASSURE THIS WORLD AND EVERY LIVING CREATURE ON IT – I DON’T CARE. YOU DON’REALLY GIVE A CRAP ABOUT A HUMAN BEING WHO HAS BEEN FIGHTING CANCER SINCE HER FAMILY PET JOHAN GOT LEUKEMIA WHEN I WAS A VERY SMALL CHILD. You don’t care that my family, several of whom are U.S. Military has been DESSIMATED by WARS they didn’t start. You don’t care that I was still trying wrap my had around the death of my brother Fritz Christian Lueth, at the same time I was trying to wrap my head the fact that my father’s kidney’s were failing and he chose not to have dialysis, at the same time I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that my mother had just been diagnosed with breast cancer when I get hit a HUGE PILE OF B.S. FROM NASTY HUMANS WHO DISGRACE THE NHL LOGO BY CALLING HUMAN BEING PIECES OF SHIT WHERE I CAN HEAR YOU.
The problem with doing that to the ONE GUARDIAN WHO HAS BEEN KEEPING THE HOLY WRATH GOD WANTS TO “DROP LIKE IT’S HOT” UPON THIS PLANET EARTH BASED ON MY CONVERSATION with him is well – I don’t know any other words to use other then HOLY WRATH. I have gone on strike so I’m not protecting any of you from GOD’S ALMIGHTY WRATH Gaurdians. If you’d like to do it, I will not stop you.
Fans and who the F’ else needs to see this over there at the John Mayer camp. The reveal as to why I had to get a BOAT LOAD of messages from JOHN MAYER haters while going through will come. This will not be negotiable. I DO NOT KNOW THAT GUY EITHER – SO MUCH LIKE THE JOSH GROBAN – YOU TOO SHALL CEASE AND DESIST ANY COMMUNICATION IN ANY FORM CREATED AT ANY POINT IN TIME, PAST, PRESENT BY ANYONE UP TO AND INCLUDING GOD. I don’t EVEN WANT TO KNOW right now how John Mayer became my problem God. We’ll get to that later. Not negotiable.
Which brings me to Washington Capitals LLC. You and any affiliated entities, along with those who wear your logo in grocery stores, use the internet for ANY REASON WHAT-SO-EVER, shall also follow the same guidelines given to every one else who gets anywhere NEAR ME with anything, including words.
Clan goalie, YOU WILL GOALIE UP FOR ME NOW. I don’t care if your name is Evgeni Nabakov, Marty Brodeur, Olaf Kolzig, Bill Smith, Yunj Chow Fat, Blue Ribbon, Sally Jones. I went WAFFLES UP GOALIES IN 2012 and what that means is you do whatever the F’ it takes to GET EYES ON ME NOW!
Tampa Bay Lighting fans and Lighting faithful, I’d love to be in Tampa right now all enjoying the hockey paradise, but ain’t nobody on this planet seems to give a crap about how well I’m handling the EPIC BIBLICAL PROPORTION AMOUNT OF GRIEF AND LOSS THAT HAS BEEN BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF ME SINCE 1974, so pardon me if I wonder why some of you who wanted me to talk-up the women’s hockey for ya and be all “ENTERTAINING” for ya and rather didn’t happen to notice that a member of BOLTS NATION is waaaaaaaaaaaay over the top done with x-hockey team and all their CAPS CARE crap. They don’t know how to 7th player. They don’t know how to help one little hockey fan who had to sit in the old CAP CENTER and get called things like “bulldike” by human scum and hear someone wearing the crapitals logo call Mike Grier a “raisin”.
If Kevin Weekes sees this blog post and that’s not a suggestion NHL faithful, I want you to know that I need some full-on, no holds-barred, real and true help. My grandparents are all deceased. My aunts and uncles are all deceased. My children, siblings and many of friends – all deceased. I NEED SOME HOCKEY LIFERS TO HOCKEY FAMILY FOR ME AND I DON’T YET UNDERSTAND WHY THAT WAS SO MUTHA FREAKIN’ HARD FOR ANY HUMAN I HAVE SPOKEN TO TO UNDERSTAND. So you, Mr. Weekes, are AWESOME to me. I know, I identify with Dominick Hasek, because that’s how I’d describe my variety of goaltending to any who might ask. ANYTHING IT TAKES TO STOP THE PUCK. Go You Hasek. Go you.
Somebody on this planet’s going to rally some support for me TODAY. I don’t need to be cheered on or given some sort of weird instructions from @Twitterthons. You too are not beyond the judgement of God, especially when you use that name as a password, so when some person who tweets/e-mails me and REFUSES to properly identify yourself to me with that whole situation back in 2010-2011 and directs me to “FOCUS” on your little project and instructs me to “pick a project that means something to me”, well then I guess all of you involved with all of that didn’t quite understand that all of you are now saying HELLO TO YOUR LORD, JESUS CHRIST. I was being stalked. I was being beaten down by my own government. I was being treated like total and complete CRAP by people I’ve know for years who claimed to be my friends and YOU AREN’T GOD. YOU ARE ON THE “LET’S DO A FULL-SIZE GOD AUDIT LIST NOW.
I will continue on with another blog post tomorrow. Maybe one of you humans, might get freakin’ inspired to HUMAN UP and call my CELL phone. Not e-mail me. Not any other thing. My cell number is on this blog – take some INITIATIVE and give me a call people of Earth who say with words you care, but who have ZERO follow-through when it comes to actually showing up for fellow human.
Military side of my family, Veteren’s of Foreign Wars – My father was a U.S. Military veteran of the Korean war and spent many years after being forced to retire from the military because he had diabetes in civil service to the country and he didn’t even get a funeral when he passed away. I NEED you to MILITARY FAMILY UP FOR ME NOW! Pessin Katz Law has shown very little respect to a fellow 101 Airborne and seems to think stealing the inherantence of his daughter who fought that PTSD war with him, who fought that war he had with alcohol, who fought that war we both had to fight because my Mother, also deceased was demetia variety non-copus mentus Pessin Law. Pessin Law Katz is NOT MILITARY FRIENDLY – PLEASE PASS THIS AROUND TO ALL U.S. MILITARY IN THE MD/DC/VA AREA – SPARE YOURSELVES THE MISERY. I most certainly can prove that in a court of law. Would you like to join me legal pitbulls? There’s plenty of room for a few good men and women, just give me a call.
My tomorrow is going to be so much better my today people of Earth and one of you is going to be THAT PERSON for me and you’re going to do it like you mean it. I want to IMMEDIATELY get help moving to Tampa Bay. I don’t want to spend another single day in Maryland for any reason. That’s right Harford County, MD – I got no problem letting you know – I’m still a Duran Duran fan those of you who added to all my woes by doing things like throwing my shoes out the window of Harford County Public School Bus #113. I have no problem telling all those who grew-up in Bynam Ridge, especially those pretending to grown-up adults that you let my family full of addicts keep knocking me around and YOU DID NOTHING TO STOP IT! Yes, I also got anally and vaginally raped when I was a teenager in that neighborhood where I grew up because vile adult perverts got no problem putting a chemical in a beer that an underage female (yes, that’s me), drank. Interestingly one beer does not produce a complete and total state of paralysis in a young teenage girl who felt and heard every word that M-F’er did and said but could not move a muscle to stop him. My little rapist “friend” liked to put his sperm “right in my ass”. He also fancied taking some polaroids to remember me by – how nice for him.
Every human alive should READ THIS BLOG POST AND WEEP NOW. Nothing on this planet but a bunch of people who say they’re fighting cancer, but won’t show up at my door with love in your hearts, empathy, sympathy for a woman who WANTS TO F’ ING know for sure if she’s got blood cancer but can’t seem to find doctors who give a crap about me a whole, real and true human being.
HEY, HUMANITY – Kiss my ass. Of course you’ll have to do that virtually, because all I wanted was to settle down, get married and make babies. Instead, I’ll not be letting MOST of you anywhere NEAR my ass (in any sense), and I’ll be asking God not to assign me to the CRAP detail known as Earth again. Not for me God – they think you’re going to make them another planet to screw-up – I do not recommend that action.
GO BOLTS! Spend some real time getting to know me by taking in my blog human people who thought for some reason I want to sit in my apartment alone, unable to muster up even the will to bathe properly and not get some hugs, some sympathy cards in the mail or well any indication that you have a single shred of decency at all.
Yes, I do know some federal law enforcement officers and to those of you actually know me – I’d have to give you a failing grade when it comes to resiliency training and that is all I have to say to any of you as well.
Bring on the Holy Wrath God – they’ll probably think it’s some sort of fun game to play and complain that there weren’t enough pyrotechnichs for ’em. It wont phase me God – so were good.
I love you, but not enough to wait for a fake, imaginary hero – I got past that a LOOOOOOOOONG time ago.
Gee, sorry I don’t have a text plan A-holes. I don’t feel like putting the links in this blog – THAT’S WHY.
No, most of this blog is not a work of fiction. There is no punch line.
No snark or sarcasm should be implied.
I’m as serious as the second death is serious. Don’t care? Oh good – there’s a plan for that. The “S” list is long and deep.
Yes, it’s true – “everyone loves a 3-way”. Often, I find myself awake late at night and sometimes it just seems best to share in the fun. Perhaps you’ve discovered a few interesting facts in the middle of night as well.
For example – “Jesus is kind and humble”. As a hockey fan, I can certainly appreciate a gift of healing. Some seasons, some NHL teams don’t even have the luxury of what’s known as a “healthy scratch”. WAIT – DID HE MEAN THERE ARE EIGHT-BREASTED WOMEN AROUND HERE! Hey, don’t be distracting the men of hockey during the season like that!
Now, if you’re not familiar with laughing often and don’t enjoy a good drive in a great car, then don’t watch Top Gear. Me, I’m a fan of both those two things, but the latter isn’t something I get to do very often. Instead, I watch other people do that and when these guy get into a bit of trouble – they go all the way in. It’s always proper to fasten the seat belt and engage the hand brake in your sports car just prior to “wheels down” in Iraq. I mean that’s just plain road savvy. However, being “aware of something called ‘The News'”, may or may not be an indicator if a person has any trepidation in suggesting a “short-cut” through Mosul or Baghdad. Chicks not only dig ice hockey and guitars, some of us also dig cars too! Nope – I am not a mythical creature and there are witnesses. Of course, this particular female gets MIGHTY protective of little children and has the potential to become what some would not describe as “cute” when she gets her life threatened. Threatening my life WHILE protecting little children …. (there are no words, because those words aren’t for the little children and you wouldn’t have enough to time to utter any words anyway, so we’ll just focus on cute, fun times and stay in “happy zone”). What was my point again? Oh yeah, laughter is good the soul and I’m all about it.😉
Come on, you like to laugh too, even if you don’t want any of your serious art-school friends to see you do it and heaven forbid some one gets it on video. Da Horrah!
I can even have a hardy laugh at myself as well. Perhaps you’d like to join in? One of the ways to get to Ocean City, MD to enjoy some beach activities is via Route 50, which passes directly through a town called Easton. Once, when I was a passenger on a weekend trip “downee ocean”, I saw a sign indicating that seniors get reduced rates and free utilities. It just so happened that sign was located right next to Easton High School. So of course, I turned to my friend who was driving and said, “Hey, that’s pretty cool – the seniors at Easton High get to live right next to school and don’t have to pay for utilities!” Well, it seems as though I wasn’t thinking about what an inconvenience that would be to the SENIOR CITIZENS who actually lived in that apartment complex located right next to Easton High School. YAY-me get smart certificate for being able to read words on sign – #DuhMe
What can I tell ya – my friend who was driving felt very happy and secure that she was the one operating the motor vehicle that day, because she knew I was stone-cold sober and wide awake, yet somehow, I wasn’t quite able to grasp the obvious “flaw” in my rather “flawed” statement for – oh, say 10 full minutes. I figured it out eventually – so there’s hope for me yet.
Peace and laughter to every single last one of ya and may you NOT be the “genius” who has no clue that you’ve just said something rather silly, or at the very least, may you have the kind of friend who will laugh at you when you do such a thing, because on a different road trip at a later point in time that same friend saw a billboard with “AD4TIZE” written upon it and it took her waaay longer than 10 minutes to “unlock the secret code” of that “mystery. It happens to all of us, but I won’t make you admit it in public.
Love ya – mia – firstname.lastname@example.org
Hello again or hello for the first time. I’ve been writing some prose, verse, lyrics recently, so I’m sharing the following verse (not in lyric form here, but if you like, I’ll sing it for you as well). I’m sure there are a few who might read it who’ll get it upon first read right away. If not, give it a little time and it will.
A Different Kind of War Vet
I’m a different kind of war vet,
With a different kind of pain.
I don’t think you wanna hear what I have to say.
Likely wouldn’t believe me anyway.
Even if you don’t really understand,
I’d still reach out and give you my hand.
So live like you like living,
And feel free to sing now.
It’s all right ahead of you,
Right there, right there in front of you.
All for you, all for us, it’s true.
You’re a different kind of war vet,
With a different kind of pain.
Now you don’t need to fear,
‘Cause you know you’re not alone.
You know it’s over and we no longer need to fight,
‘Cause we know, yes we know, we got it right.
Oh this road we’re on takes us home.
All the way home.
I’m not sure why it would surprise anyone that I might refer to GOD on this blog sometimes. I mean, I am a hockey fan. Anyone who has ever been to an NHL game in which a Canadian team plays should know, they sing to God before every single game don’t they. Besides (G)oalie (O)ffense (D)efense. If that doesn’t do it for you, perhaps you should visualize ice hockey goalie gear and then read Ephesians 6 10-18. It’s just like “invisible” goalie gear isn’t it. The time is now to #GearUp world. #PutTheLidsOnTheKids – both ways.
That’s right – #LoversGonnaLove Always. All Ways.
Rock the world peace.
Peace – mia – email@example.com Go Bolts! Go YOU! Thank you. I love you. SING IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT! Keep your sticks on the ice. Got a guitar, play it. Don’t have a guitar, go get one. They hand-make guitars in Nazareth out of wood – coincidence shmoincindence. I don’t think so.
Greetings. As a life long ice hockey fan (concentrating on the (N)ational (H)ockey (League)), I’ve heard and been involved in conversations about the concept of the “Bandwagon fan.” Sometimes they are viewed as “casual” fans or not “true” fans. well, if you’ve ever been called a “bandwagon” fan or someone has told you that you aren’t a “true” fan, well, I’m you’re friend and there’s good news. Why? Because at one point in my life I was sitting at a hockey game and I didn’t know all the terminology or know the names of the players or understand what “five hole” meant. We’ve all been there. So, for those who perhaps are preparing to go out on a first date with someone you know is a hockey fan and you want to get a bit of primer I’ll happily help you out with that. Perhaps some of you won ice hockey tickets and you’d like to get a few of the basis down ahead of time so you understand a little bit about what you’ll be watching. Maybe you’re a group leader who’s going to be accompanying a group who’ve received the opportunity to see a hockey game for the first time and you were surfing the internet to find a resource that could that’s easy to follow to get your group ready for the outing. Whatever the case may be, here are some nuggets of internet goodness that may be useful.
The NHL has 30 teams. The team I support all the time is the Tampa Bay Lightning. Go Bolts! During the regular season (October through April), the teams play 60 minutes. Those 60 minute are divided into thirds known as periods. The beginning face-off (game beginning drop of the hockey puck or opening face-off) starts at the center ice (middle circle. Each team starts every game with six men (or players) on the ice. Five of the players are “skaters” and one is the goalie (netminder, creasekeeper). The skaters are comprised of two defensemen and three forwards. Two of the forwards are “wings” (wingers, wingmen) and the one in the middle the “center“.
When you are at the game (or even watching it TV or internet), you may feel like you’re having trouble keeping track of the puck. No worries. You’re not the only one. The game moves very quickly and it’s nothing to worry about. It may help to simply watch the movement the players as team units before you try keeping track of the puck. Each team has home colors which are usually solid. The Lighting are the blue team when they play in Tampa Bay, FL. (home) and they’re white when playing elsewhere (away from home). So, if you follow the movement of the “blue” team, you’re eyes will be tracking the game. During the course of the game while following the movement of the team, you’re eyes will “see” the puck, even if you’re not aware of it. Eventually, you’ll start becoming more aware of where the puck is at the same time you’re watching a team play. As a new fan or when not in the habit of watching NHL games all the time, don’t feel as though you even should be focusing on the puck as much as watching the teams move on the ice. This will help a bit later on in being aware of the puck, but also what each individual player is doing on the ice. Of course, some may watch the game a little differently at first, but I’ve been to games with quite a few who haven’t been to a game before and it seems to be something those individuals noticed and mentioned to me during the course of each game, so it’s perfectly fine if you feel like the puck is “hard to see”.
There are four “officials”, two are “linemen” and two are “referees”. Together, they call “penalties” and make sure the players stick to guidelines of play. There are different types of penalties. Most of the penalties called during most games are known as “minor penalties”. Those types of penalties are things like “tripping”. The player who gets a penalty called on him (also applies to the team as a whole) gets sent to the “penalty box” and isn’t allowed to play for two minutes (five minutes for a “major” penalty like “fighting”). That player’s team is then on what’s called a “penalty kill” (man down, 5 on 4) which means the other team is then on a “Power Play” (man advantage, 5 on 4). There are many different types of penalties, but generally, during any particular game it’s the 2-minute penalties (minor) that get called.
It takes a little time to understand why the puck is dropped at certain face-offs at certain times during a period, so in sticking to basics, just know the terms “offensive zone”, “defensive zone” and “neutral zone”. When the Lightning are in their “defensive zone”, they are playing on the portion of ice directly in from the Lightning goalie. For the other team though, that portion of ice is the “offensive zone”. For both teams, no matter what, the middle portion if the ice known as the “neutral zone”. You may not remember all of this when you go to a game or while watching at first, but some of it may come to mind during the game. For those who really do become interested in becoming whatever kind of hockey fan you become, you can always re-read this and as you become more familiar with game play, penalties, a team or teams and perhaps the NHL in general, this blog post might be useful as a general framework or guidepost to explore ice hockey in greater depth. I encourage anyone who does read this before going to a hockey game or viewing one on TV or the internet) to re-read this post afterward and perhaps you’ll find that a few “details” of the game you thought you didn’t understand while you were watching, you actually did. That should make you’re next ice hockey viewing experience a bit less “beginner” and bit more, “Hey, this ice hockey stuff isn’t so bad” and “I’m not a bandwagon fan, I’m just beginning my exploration.”
For those who may have heard a few things about the NHL and men’s professional hockey or seen a few highlight’s on mainstream media, or even seen a few games here and there and are thinking things like “ice hockey is too violent”, or if you wonder why there “appears” to be a lot “fighting “, I can say that there is far more good game play and than there isn’t and there are many wonderful, awesome little moments than there are anything else. Perhaps, even those of us who have been hockey fans our whole lives can refresh our fandom a little and not look at the “little hockey players” who play during intermissions as the “same old, boring thing and wish that there was some other form of “entertainment” on ice during that time. Instead, keep in mind that is the future of ice hockey you’re watching. That’s the future doctor who might one day save your life. That’s someone who’ll become a caring wife, brother, friend. That little ice hockey player is experiencing a moment that doesn’t happen very often and his/her grandma is there. That moment might be the last time that grandma gets before leaving this Earth to see the happy, smiling, joy-filled face if her grandchild. I certainly have not ever missed out on the opportunity to sit and share that moment with the future, to share it, to get a lighthearted little laugh when they’re little faces light all up because they caught sight of the puck in front of, what is to them, a huge crowd and go after it with all their beautiful little hearts so that they can be the one the team who scored the goal. And, yes, of course, joyfully shared in so many moments when that little goalie sees that player coming and leaves the ice knowing that he/she just made the save!
Young or old, the men of hockey are aware that perhaps the “staged” fighting isn’t needed. They know the game may “seem” a bit violent at first. There is much good work being done in that regard. Keep in mind however, that just as they will protect themselves on ice they will also protect their team on ice. Off-ice, which in life is where it counts and doesn’t get all the press and highlights in mainstream media (let’s change that shall we), they will lend a helping hand to each other no matter on what team that person plays or no matter if a person is football and doesn’t “get” hockey – YET. I too would help a fan of another team, even if your team just just creamed my team 8-1, because you’re a human and I share this world with you and I care that you live to have children, be grandparents, be that “stranger” who volunteered to be a sober driver, who may have made me laugh at a hockey game or just out and about in the course regular every day happenings just when I needed it. I’m not the only one who does and that my friends I thank God for every single day.
Whether you are a Hockey fan or not, appreciate the same music as me or not, live in my country or not, there is love and I don’t think you’re an oddball. There is kindness. There is hope. There is compassion. There is a future. There is light. There is caring. There is sharing. This always a way.
A person is never to old to become a hockey fan. A person is never too old to get another chance to be loved. A goalie may get scored on here and there and a shooter may miss a shot. A relationship of any kind may seem as though it has been tested to the point of breaking, but God loves you, I love you, people you know right now love, people you haven’t even met yet love you and I know, despite “appearances” to me, right now, you love me too.
Share the love. Share the joy. Share the music. Share the hockey.
ROCK ON! Goalies, guardians, as usual, mind those nets and should, some of us have we retire, may we also share those moments with the “little goalies” who grow-up and become what we were, just a little better.
Peace to all – mia – if you’ve ever been THAT person who “pushed” on the door that had a sing that clearly read “pull” and did it more that once and wondered in your head why “the door is locked” when you “knew” it shouldn’t be, then you weren’t the only and perhaps it was meant to happen to that, because the person who saw you do it REALLY, REALLY, needed a laugh. It truly does all happen for a reason.
Luv ya universe. Yup, ya got the wrong one and nope, I wouldn’t even be nominated for a “who’s the weirdest of them all” award. I didn’t enter the contest, so that previous sentence makes a good bit of sense doesn’t it. Laughter all around!! I’m enjoying “Suits”. Thank you. Oh and Lightning faithful, am I the only one who wonders if Gudas shaves that beard every morning and by game time it just, to him, “hockey o’clock” shadow”? Maybe that’s where he keeps his wallet and keys when he’s wearing an outfit with no pockets? Huh – one of those “mysteries” I suppose. Yeah, yeah – I know clan goalie – I need to get the links to the right updated, because many of you have websites and you’re revered members of clan goalie too. Well, I am only one person and it’s not like you guys are perfect either – even if that’s what you’re 5th grade teacher told you. (goalies might be a bunch of divas – but this one – yes me -I went all “Wah, wah, wah – I want world peace diva about it” I am who I am man!)
Even if the lights go out, we’d glow through the darkness.
Even if the words got in the way, we wouldn’t need a word to say.
I know you know, because you see what I see.
Sometimes I’m not sure if it’s you or if it’s me.
We’re crashing into each other and that’s the way it’s meant to be.
Getting closer. Ever closer. There’s a kiss being kept only for you.
I’m keeping it safe here with me, so it can be shared between we two.
Are you coming to me? Or should I meet you somewhere?
I’d drive all night to get to you. Wouldn’t want time to run out, so I’m there.
True love cannot be stopped.
Peace, love and light to you – mia firstname.lastname@example.org
I saw you happy with me and that made me smile.